Resources · Anxiety & Overthinking
Your mind may be working very hard for a reason.
Maybe you replay the conversation.
Run through what could go wrong.
Try to figure out what someone meant.
Check one more time.
Or keep thinking long after you wish your mind would let something go.
It can be tempting to make the goal: Stop thinking about it.
These tools start somewhere else.
They help you notice what your House may be responding to, what it may be predicting, and what might help before deciding the reaction itself is the problem.
Start Here
What Does My Smoke Look Like?
Before figuring out why your mind is doing something, start with what you can actually notice.
Smoke Signals are the things you can observe when something inside your House needs attention.
For you, Smoke might look like replaying, predicting, checking, criticizing, planning, avoiding, trying to solve everything at once, or feeling unable to let something go.
You do not have to know what the Smoke means yet.
The first job is simply: Notice it.
Smoke is information—not an explanation.
NOTICE MY SMOKE →Before You Analyze It
How Open Is My House?
Sometimes we start analyzing the thought before checking the House that is having it.
But the same situation can feel very different depending on how much capacity you have available.
Tired. Hungry. Overloaded. Stressed. Sick. Carrying too much. Already stretched thin.
None of those automatically explains the anxiety.
They give you context.
Before asking, “Why am I reacting like this?” it can help to ask, “How open is my House right now?”
Capacity is context—not character.
CHECK MY HOUSE →
Go Deeper
Test the Prediction
Sometimes your House is not just reacting to what is happening.
It is predicting what might happen next.
Maybe: They’ll be upset with me. I’ll mess this up. Something bad is going to happen. If I don’t figure this out now, I won’t be okay. If I say what I need, something will change between us.
A prediction can feel a lot like a fact.
This worksheet does not ask you to convince yourself that the prediction is wrong.
Instead, it asks: Is there a small, safe way to gather more information?
The prediction might turn out to be accurate, partly accurate, not accurate this time, still unresolved, or not worth testing.
All of those are information.
The goal isn’t positive thinking. It’s more information.
TEST THE PREDICTION →What You May Be Noticing
Overthinking may be an attempt to know before you can know.
Sometimes thinking harder feels like the closest available path to safety.
If I can predict it… prepare for it… understand exactly what happened… find the right answer… maybe I won’t be caught off guard.
That does not mean every prediction is wrong.
And it does not mean every worry should be ignored.
It means your House may be trying to use information to create safety.
You can listen to the prediction without automatically treating it as certainty.
Sometimes you need more information. Sometimes you need Care. Sometimes you need a boundary. Sometimes the prediction is accurate.
And sometimes your House is responding to something it learned to expect a long time ago.
The goal is not to win an argument with your mind.
It is to see more of what your House is working with.
The Question Before the Question
Sometimes your battery is just chirping.
Before asking your House for insight, flexibility, patience, or perspective, it helps to know what capacity is available.
Olive reminds us that depletion changes the context.
When capacity is low, the House may have less room for uncertainty, noise, conflict, disappointment, or one more thing to solve.
That doesn’t make the reaction meaningless.
It means capacity belongs in the picture.
Lowering the bar today is not giving up. It may simply be accurate.
When Understanding Isn’t the End of the Question
You don’t have to untangle every thought alone.
Sometimes noticing what your House is doing gives you enough room to respond differently.
And sometimes the same worries, predictions, or loops keep returning no matter how much you understand them.
Therapy can be a place to slow those patterns down, understand what your House may be responding to, and find more room for Care and Choice.
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