Resources · Parenting
Behavior makes more sense when we can see what may be happening underneath it.
It is easy to get pulled toward stopping the behavior we can see.
These tools help you slow the moment down, notice the Smoke, and get curious about what may be happening in your child’s House—and yours.
Start Here
Read the Smoke
Behavior is information.
When behavior gets loud, it is easy to focus on stopping what we can see.
Read the Smoke helps you slow the moment down and begin noticing what a child’s behavior may be communicating before deciding what it means—or what should happen next.
Smoke doesn’t tell you the whole story. It tells you where to look.
READ THE SMOKE →Notice a Little More
When Their Brain Meets Mine
Sometimes the hardest parenting moments involve two nervous systems, not one.
You may be trying to understand what your child’s Brain is doing while your own House is getting louder, faster, smaller, or more depleted.
This resource helps you notice both:
What might be happening in my child’s Brain?
and
What is available in my House right now?
Because before asking either of you for more, it helps to know what each House is working with.
OPEN THE RESOURCE →
Go Deeper
My Wallpaper, Their Smoke
Your child isn’t the only House in the room.
Sometimes your child’s behavior is hard because of what is happening in your child.
And sometimes the moment gets even harder because of what that behavior means inside your House.
This worksheet helps you slow the interaction down and separate:
- their Smoke
- your Smoke
- your Brain
- your Message
- your Wallpaper
- your Need
- your Care
- what Heart can see
- the response you actually want to give
This isn’t about blaming yourself for your child’s behavior.
It’s about giving yourself more information before you respond.
GO DEEPER →What You May Be Noticing
There are two Houses in the room.
Sometimes your child’s behavior is difficult because of what is happening in your child’s House.
And sometimes the moment gets even harder because of what that behavior means inside your House.
Your child’s Smoke can meet your Wallpaper.
Your child’s Brain can wake up your Brain.
Your child’s need can arrive on a day when your own House has very little left.
Seeing both doesn’t mean blaming yourself.
It means having more information.
And sometimes, seeing the moment differently is what gives you a different way to respond.
For Little Houses, Too
Want a kid-friendly way to keep exploring?
Sometimes kids don’t need a bigger explanation.
They need a way to recognize what is happening inside them.
Brain + Heart turns big feelings, protective responses, and connection into stories and characters that kids and grown-ups can understand together.
The goal isn’t to give a child another label.
It’s to give both of you a new way to say:
“Oh. Maybe that’s what’s happening.”
EXPLORE BRAIN + HEART →
When Understanding Isn’t the End of the Question
You don’t have to figure out the next part alone.
Sometimes seeing what’s happening changes the moment.
And sometimes it shows you where you could use more support.
Parent Support is a place to slow down the patterns happening in your family, understand your child’s House and your own, and find responses that feel more connected to the parent you want to be.
In-person in Sandy, Utah · Telehealth throughout Utah